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CINDY SHEEHANS LAST STAND Cindy Sheehan told CNN she is in control of her stand outside the president's Crawford ranch. Then life happened to remind her otherwise. Cindy Sheehan announced she was leaving the vigil to attend her mother's side in California. Cindy's mother had a stroke. That is how life goes, when we get too high and cocky. Something inevitably occurs reminding us how little of our world we are in control of. Some might call her mother's illness, post being served with divorce papers, a coincidence. Others might call it a gift of sorts before something greater could befall. There are those who might say this is a divine reminder given when someone doesn't quite tell all their truth. You see, Cindy Sheehan just didn't one day decide to protest. And when she did decide to protest in Crawford, it wasn't a decision made in a vacuum. Cindy had been one of five family survivors who tried to enter the Pentagon on an earlier occasion, dead winter, to force a meeting with Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. Cindy's son 24 year old Army Specialist Casey Sheehan died for his country in April. When refused entry, Sheehan stood in the blowing snow available for press opportunities coordinated by MFSO.org. Since, the Pentagon Five are promoted on mfso's website. MFSO? Not surprised their name has not come up so far in the Media Marketing of the standoff in Crawford. Military Families Speaking Out started in 2003 in the alliance of anti-administration organizations coordinated under the umbrella of United For Justice and Peace, organizers of the August 2004 march up NYC's 7th Avenue, the Sunday before the Republican National Convention was held in Madison Square Gardens. My mom says Canadian papers are reporting American media, having little else controversial to write about, it being summer and all, made Cindy into a story. Listening to CNN last night, it seems media is beginning painting Mother Sheehan, as she is now accepting being called, to be a couple of floors short of the Penthouse suites. Though I might disagree. A woman who has one man volunteered to rub her feet, another delivering her food, can't be all out there. With divorce papers having been publicly served once can guess that Cindy won't be single long. Something happens on N Street, DC, at the bewitching hour. Pups pull owners out for the last walk of the night, or second to last as the case may be. Condo neighbors walk as far as the shared boundary of sidewalk bordering their buildings. Dog owners talk. About something. Nothing. Or puppy politics. When the dogs are done, so is the conversation. Sparky's dad asked how my project seeking God in the nation's capitol is coming along. I asked him about Cindy. He described her, looking tragically alone in her crowd. Cindy's daughter, Carly, a year younger than Casey, said, "Casey would do anything for anybody," Carly said, " He'd give you the shirt off his back. He was just a loving and caring person." Carly said, "He didn't have to go," explaining the military was a natural progression for her brother who grew up active in his Catholic church, an altar server, in the youth ministry, a boy scout and then an Eagle Scout. According to Carly, Casey was all about serving, "God and his country." "He chose the military because it was just like the boy scouts but they got guns," Carly said, "It was all he wanted to do his whole life." Casey joined the military. Twice. A mechanic not an infantryman, he volunteered for a rapid rescue force heading to save a convoy of soldiers attacked in Sadr City. Sheehan, killed during the rescue attempt, was remembered saying, "I go where my chief goes." Casey's second tour earned him a bronze star in Iraq. And a mother that announces to the world she does not respect her adult son. Casey re-enlisted at age 24. It's old news Sheehan's husband, Pat, cited irreconcilable differences. Cindy's continuing press conferences, held daily at scheduled times, in the back of limos, anywhere anyone would listen, build a portfolio of evidence differences with her husband was not her only family problem. "I said to my son not to go. I said, you know it's wrong, you know you're going over there. You know your unit might have to kill innocent people, you know you might die..." He did. April 2004. Within days of returning to duty. It would be generous to say the showdown attempted at the OK Corral in Texas is evidence of a mother's post-trauma meltdown. But, taking her at face value, Cindy's words do come to mind. She said, "I am in control." I wondered aloud to Sparky's dad, what Casey might think looking down upon his mom. Possibly wishing for a third tour. Possibly wishing his mother and he understood each other enough to offer him respect, at least in death, since it appears from Cindy she may not have offered it in life. Maybe Casey might ask of Cindy what other Gold Star moms are beginning to speak up for, leaving their dead out of the MFOS's, moveon.org's and United For Justice and Peace's manipulation of politics, after all a dead man or woman don't become public property. They remain the privacy of their surviving loved ones. And maybe Casey might be chuckling at Sheehan's parlaying her 15 minutes of fame in 17 minutes or more, with potential invites by Hanoi Jane to travel alongside her and Tom Hayden on their upcoming Tea Tour. Starring in rockumentaries moveon.org or Michael Moore or someone is surely filming. Casey might just belly laugh if Sheehan becomes front line and anti-war banner center of the money shot alongside Hollywood's aging B-list September 24th in DC. If things really go well, maybe Gloria Allred will represent Mother Sheehan's anguish over losing her son, and, as did Amber Frey, let Allred produce Sheehan's inevitable made-for-tv-movie, and book deal, maybe Cindy Crawford in the Sheehan role, since media has been challenged keeping their names straight all this time. Maybe Casey might ask what many adult kids hope for, that Cindy hold a press conference telling the world how awesome Casey still is today, a young man who gave his life so his mother could enjoy an insane democracy day in the media sun outside the President's ranch in Crawford, Texas. BIO: Carrie Devorah is an investigative editorial photojournalist based in Washington DC.